mini_fest | FIC: My only wish (Harry/Draco -2598

Title: My only wish
Author/Artist:

lyonessheart
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco
Prompt: Harry overhears Draco's Christmas wish.
Word Count: 2598
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Some Wishes can't be granted with money

He must have gone crazy. There was no other explanation for his escape to the owlery. He had no owl waiting there for him, and it was fucking cold. So what possessed him to traipse across the castle under his invisibility cloak, as if he was still sneaking out after curfew. He was a grown up. Well, almost grown up. He might be of age, but he sure as hell did not feel grown up.

If he were grown up he would not feel this burning anger. He loved his friends, truly, but he wished they would leave him alone for a bit. Their constant hovering drove him crazy. Hermione tried to talk with him about his feelings, but he just wanted to mourn quietly. He talked to the dead when nobody listened and made his peace with them. Ron was worse in a way, with his continuous hints at Ginny and his hopes for the future. How could he tell him, that looking at Ginny made him warm, with a love for family but not in a way that made his blood boil with longing. He knew they didn't really understand. It made him angry in a way, left him longing for solitude.

So whenever he could, he slipped away and walked through the old castle. Being back for the eight year made him realize that somewhere deep inside he still was a child.
He sighed.
Hogwarts all decked out in Christmas ornaments, made him nostalgic. Everything had been so easy back then.

It grew colder and he smiled, the owlery with the many owls brought him memories of Hedwig. His lovely owl that he still missed. So lost in thoughts was he that he stepped into the room without noticing that the door had been left open.

He froze when he heard the soft voice, thinking he had been noticed despite his cloak. But when he carefully looked for the source of the voice he found something, that made his throat close up.

„Isn't it strange Abraxas?“ Draco Malfoy sat on the windowsill, his cheeks red from the cold and his majestic eagle owl perched on his knees, „Here I am, rich and spoiled.“ He laughed bitterly, buried his face in the feathers and cuddled his owl. „But all that money doesn't help, when all I want is for someone to see me.“

The owl hooted softly and others flew down, as if to reassure Draco Malfoy, of all people, that they did see him.
And Draco didn't scoff at them, instead a choked of laugh rose. „Yes my friends, you see me, but I bet none of the others have noticed that I am not in the common room. If I could have anything for Christmas I would like to know that I still matter to someone apart from mother, that someone cares for me. I mean I know it is too much to ask for the man I want to love me, but just to know someone cares., It would be worth so much more than money.“

Harry found himself frozen in his spot, staring at the young lonely man on the window sill.
Draco was nearly buried under owls but he smiled softly and there was something touching about the birds cuddling the Slytherin.

Harry knew that he saw something not meant for his eyes, and crept softly out of the owlery. He had a lot of thinking to do.

The next evening found all of the eight years in the common room and Harry waited for his chance. Ron and Hermione were deep in conversation and for once didn't pay him much attention while Draco started to leave as he had done every previous evening, Harry had thought hard about the way to approach Draco without spooking him and once he had been poring over the potions essay, he had found the perfect excuse to get closer to Draco.

He slipped away following Draco out into the hallway.“Draco!“ he called.

Draco stopped in his track and turned around. „Yes Potter?“ He warily replied.

„Uhm,“ Harry skidded to a halt in front of his classmate. „Before I get to the reason why I called you out here, I need to do something.“

Draco flinched at that and closed his eyes, halfway expecting a punch, but a gentle hand on his shoulder made him open his eyes again.

Harry had touched his shoulder with one hand, but the other was stretched out in front of him.

„I wanted to start over,“ he explained haltingly. „I would like to introduce myself. I am Harry.“

Draco swallowed, halfway expecting Harry to pull the hand away at the last moment as he tentatively grasped it. „Draco,“ he got out.

„I know. Draco I have been meaning to talk with you, but you are never in the common room.“

„Well I didn't think anyone would notice.“ Draco turned his face away.

„I did, but I thought you needed some alone time. I am sorry if I misinterpreted that.“ Harry replied softly.

„No, in the beginning I needed some time, but now I just felt that no one much cares.“

„Hm, are you headed towards the library?“ Harry tried to keep the conversation flowing.

„Usually I just wander the halls for a bit.“ Draco answered.

„Hmm, would you come with me to the library? I really could use some help with the potions essay.“

„Are you sure?“ Draco raised an eyebrow, and the gesture was so familiar that Harry felt his stomach clench.

„Yes, I am sure Potions has always been your passion.“ Harry grinned

„Ok, then lets go.“ Draco turned to the library and they both settled at one of the tables. For a while they worked quietly, Draco explaining the concepts that Harry couldn't grasp when reading the texts. And Harry translating the new found understanding into an essay.

„You are good at this.“ Harry said after a while. „I read this text at least five times, but I couldn't understand it entirely. You formulate it a little differently and I get it.“ He grinned at Draco, honestly happy to have understood the concept.

Draco flushed a little at the praise „I try, I just don't understand why you haven't asked Hermione for help?“

Harry looked at the books for a while. „I love my friends, but they don't understand me at the moment. And Hermione has never been good at explaining concepts. She is hard working, and knows a lot, but transferring that knowledge to someone is not her forte.“

„Well, if you need help..:“ Draco trailed of, not sure how welcome the offer would be.“

„You would?“ Harry beamed.

„I would.“ Draco breathed deeply. „I owe you so much, Harry. I didn't even say Thank you.“

„I don't want to hear a thank you,“ Harry replied „If you make the most of your life that is thanks enough.“

„Well for now you have to live with a simple thank you.“ Draco smiled tentativly at Harry. „Maybe if we become friends you can help me stay on track,“ he said it with a wink, to show that he didn't expect Harry to pave the way for him.

„Ok,“ Harry gave in with grace, „But be prepared to have me around a lot more, I plan on making the most of your potions knowledge. And you are surprisingly easy to be around:“

True to his promise, Harry began spending the evenings together with Draco. At first in the library but some nights were spend in the common room with both heads bend over books. Ron had looked a little sceptical at the pair, but when Harry's nightmares began to subside not long after their study sessions he had shrugged and held Hermione's interrogation back.

But with each day that passed, Harry's heart grew heavier. Draco was funny, smart and fiercely protective when it came to his friends and family. Not to mention he was incredibly attractive. To know that Draco was pining for some wizard, who didn't even see the beautiful man that had been hidden underneath the layer of insecurity and arrogance, made him sad. Because over the last few weeks Harry had fallen in love with him .

+++

„Ok, out with it.“ Ron sat down across from Harry on his bed. Draco was still in the shower and Ron looked at his morose friend.

„Are you in love with him?“ He asked haltingly, not wanting to spook his friend.

„Doesn't matter if I am, he wants someone else,“ Harry replied heavyly

„Are you sure?“ Ron just asked. „Because he could have fooled me, the way he looks at you as if you hung the moon, and well who would not want you?“

„Ron, why are you doing this?“ Harry looked at his friend.

„Because, he has made you smile again, and no amount of talking that we have done managed that.“

Ron got up and looked over his shoulder. „He might think he is in love with someone else, but probably only because his brain has simply not caught up with his heart yet.“

Harry remained on the bed, until Draco stepped out of the bathroom. He accompanied him to breakfast, as they had done for the last few days.

The holidays were upon them before Harry had figured out what he wanted to do, he knew that he would not spend the holidays at the Burrow. There was still grief in the air and Ginny had asked him to stay away for this year. Hermione was travelling to Australia to locate her parents and lift the Obliviation.

Harry stayed in Hogwarts. He only realized that Draco would stay with him when he came into the common room after waving his friends off. Draco sat by the fire, his nose buried in a book, two cups of steaming hot chocolate on the table.

„Is that for me?“

„Well seeing as we are the only two eight years are who stay I would say that yes, one cup is for you.“ Draco ginned at him before turning back towards his book.

Harry sipped the hot beverage, smiling softly. He already had a gift for Draco but come Christmas morning he would tell him, that falling in love with him, was not difficult at all, and that he wished him the best with his own crush. That his own heart would probably break upon seeing Draco with someone else... He firmly pushed that thought aside.

When he woke on Christmas morning, he was only too aware of the presence in the room with him. Since the others had left four days ago the smell in the air was purely Draco and Harry. He sighed.

„Good morning“ the soft voice greeted him. Harry turned towards the source and saw Draco turned towards him on his side watching him avidly. A soft smile played around his lips and Harry found himself wide awake.

„Hey.“ He breathed „Merry Christmas.“

„Merry Christmas to you too!“ Draco was so warm, that Harry just blurted out what he thought.

„What do you say about staying as we are, for a bit?“ He didn't want to get dressed, and slipped instead into warm socks, moving towards the door before he could think too hard about his suggestion.

Draoc laughed softly and followed him, Harry stopped in the doorway, overwhelmed by the amount of presents that had been stacked around the tree, before whopping with joy. He didn't notice immediately that Draco looked at the stacks of presents with sadness, before curling into the armchair turned towards the fire.

„What's wrong?“ Harry crouched down to his friend.

„Nothing,“ Draco replied „Well obviously not nothing, but nothing I can change. When I was a little boy I received so many presents that I couldn't appreciate them. To know that all I can hope for is a gift from Mum, while you get showered with love,“ he trailed of, and Harry felt his heart clench.

„I know what it feels like, to feel like no one thought of me, and I never want you to feel this way, so merry Christmas again.“ Harry resolutely pulled a package from the stack under the tree and handed it to Draco.

„What is that?“ Draco eyed the package in his lap as if it was going to explode.

„Go on open it.“ Harry shrugged his shoulders, to hide his embarrassment.

Draco unwrapped a book and stared disbelievingly at the title. He had mentioned it in passing to Harry when they had worked on their essays, and that even his father had not managed to procure it for him.

„How?“

„It was in one of my vaults. Kreacher was happy to get it for me, when I mentioned that I looked for it. Are you happy?“

„You are incredible.“ Draco wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye.

„And you were wrong by the way.“ Harry said softly pointing towards a small pile of presents that he had stacked for Draco. „Looks like some people have thought of you.“

Draco unwrapped a gift from his mum. Gregory gave him sweets, a stirring rod set form Blaise, even Pansy had sent him chocolate along with a leather apron for complicated brews. But the biggest surprise was a badly knitted scarf from Hermione. Draco stared at the uneven stitches and buried his face in the soft wool.

„Why, would she do this? Why does she spend time on a gift for me?“ Draco asked Harry with wide eyes.

„Because she sees, how happy you make me.She hoped to make you smile. They all see you.“

Harry looked at his own stack of presents, unopened for the most part and he turned towards the blond boy again. „I think you underestimate just how many people see you, the man you have become after the war. How wonderful you are. I know we are just friends and you wish for somebody else to love you, but I would give you to world if I could. Because you deserve it, you deserve being loved. I just really hope the man you love realizes soon how lucky he is, because if he makes you wait for much longer I just might have to beat some sense into him, even though I am not a fan of violence.“

„You definitely should not beat the man I want up. It would be such a shame for you to bruise your own face.“ Draco whispered.

„Harry“ Draco stepped closer, „I have no idea how you knew what I really wanted for Christmas, but for someone who is so incredibly smart and observant, you are really oblivious.“

„What?“ Harry couldn't wrap his head around the words.

„Let me try again. If this mirror over there, were the Mirror of Erised, it wouldn't show me anything else but this.“

Draco leaned forward and softly pressed his lips against Harry's. When he moved away again, Harry softly protested, catching his lips in another sweet kiss.

„I always wanted you. To have you in my life, like this, is the most perfect Christmas present I could ever ask for,

Harry's presents remained unopend for a while longer. He was too busy unwrapping his most precious present to care about material things.