Fic: Oh, Just Shut Up Already
Dec. 19th, 2009 01:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mini_fest_mod posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
mini_fest Title: Oh, Just Shut Up Already
Author/Artist:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flamina_x
Disclaimer: I own nothing of JKR's or I'd have a new car by now. I just play.
Rating: PG-13 (maybe Light R if you squint)
Warnings: Sheer and utter crack!fic. Lewd dancing.
Prompts: #12, Snarry: Harry tries to find the perfect present to help him confess his love to his teacher.
A/N: Based on Ricky Martin's “Ay Ay Ay It's Christmas” - lyrics included.
“I'm telling you, Ron, it's now or never,” Harry said grimly, and grabbing his best friend by the sleeve of his robes, he stalked determinedly, jaw set, toward the dungeons.
Ron sighed, trying to keep up. It was just no use telling Harry that Snape would never return his affections. Besides – ew! It was Snape! But there was no telling Harry that, either. Any – any! - word against his beloved Severus was met immediately with either a steely glare or a trembling lip. So on he tripped toward the dungeons, awkwardly dragging the charmed stereo with him.
Arriving at Snape's quarters, Harry looked at Ron, took a deep breath, and knocked. Loudly. And persistently. Minutes later, the door creaked open. Severus Snape stood there, looking down his nose at Harry and Ron.
“Given that I am not expecting company, nor am I desirous of any, you two may consider yourselves dismissed,” he said snidely and made to shut the door. But Harry, set as he was on his holiday surprise, shoved his foot inside, and grabbing Ron, he slid past Snape into the Potions professor's personal quarters before the older man could do so much as smirk.
“I'll have you in detention for the rest of your miserable years here at Hogwarts if you do not leave my personal rooms immediately,” Snape hissed.
“No,” Harry said bravely. “There's something I've been meaning to say, and I'm not leaving until I've said it.”
“I just brought the stereo, and … erm … I'll just – be going now,” Ron said, and throwing the stereo on the desk, he fled, robes flapping behind him.
“This had better be good, Potter,” Snape sneered, turning his attentions back to the boy in front of him.
Harry cleared his throat. “I was hoping to get you something for Christmas this year, something that would express my – feelings for you,” he stated.
“Feelings?” Snape said, lip curling.
“Yes. Feelings. You know, those fuzzy things that make your stomach turn in circles,” Harry prodded.
“I'm familiar with the term, Potter. Pray tell, what feelings might you have for me? Scorn? Derision? Pity?” Snape spat.
“No, sir. It's just – I think I'm in love with you, and I couldn't find you a gift that would say that, so – I came up with something else a bit more … personal,” Harry said, looking Snape square in the eye.
“Go on,” Snape said, intrigued.
Harry pressed the button on the stereo. A blare of Latin-tinged brass and tambourines filled the air. Turning around, Harry quickly pulled off his robes, revealing his costume. He was dressed in tight jeans, no shirt, and had strapped a big piece of mistletoe to his chest. Spinning around to face Snape, he began singing to the music.
“Seeeevvv, it's that time for year to sing Feliz Navidad. Underneath the tree there should be some presents there from Santa Claus. Oh, Sev, I'm begging you, don't be mad at me. I forgot it's Christmas, and you're oh so hard to try to please ...”
Snape stared, jaw on the floor, entranced by Harry Potter in his room, gyrating to Ricky Martin. Harry thrust his hips toward Snape's chair, shaking his bon-bons in his professor's face before whipping his head around, wearing what he hoped was an alluring stare.
“Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't know what to do! Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't have a gift for you. I can give you ay, ay, ay!” With each “Ay” Harry smacked his bum with a loud crack. Snape stared as handprints magically appeared on the seat of his jeans. Subconsciously he shifted, recrossing his legs.
“Snaaaaaape, pretend my arms are like shiny, big, red bows, wrapped around your kisses underneath the magic mistletoe ...”
At those words, Harry spun around, licking his fingers and then rubbing his nipples, drawing his attention to the mistletoe on his chest. “Come on, Severus, you know the words. Why don't you sing?” Harry challenged, frotting against the desk on which the stereo sat. Snape merely cocked an eyebrow at him. But Harry continued on undaunted.
“Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't know what to dooooo!”
The boy was horribly off-key and he was humping a piece of priceless antique furniture, but yet Snape couldn't take his eyes off the sight in front of him. This was not what he had expected when he opened the door this evening.
“Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't have a gift for you ...”
“Potter ...”
“I can give you ay, ay, ay!”
“Potter ...”
“All you need is ay, ay, ay!”
“Potter …”
“Un poquito ay, ay, ay!”
“Oh, just shut up already,” Snape growled, and grabbing Harry by the arm, he spun him around into an intense, lustful kiss.
As they sank to the floor, Harry grinned evilly. He couldn't wait to torment Ron with the details. Snape was just glad that someone had the presence of mind to turn off the stereo.
FIN
Author/Artist:
flamina_xDisclaimer: I own nothing of JKR's or I'd have a new car by now. I just play.
Rating: PG-13 (maybe Light R if you squint)
Warnings: Sheer and utter crack!fic. Lewd dancing.
Prompts: #12, Snarry: Harry tries to find the perfect present to help him confess his love to his teacher.
A/N: Based on Ricky Martin's “Ay Ay Ay It's Christmas” - lyrics included.
“I'm telling you, Ron, it's now or never,” Harry said grimly, and grabbing his best friend by the sleeve of his robes, he stalked determinedly, jaw set, toward the dungeons.
Ron sighed, trying to keep up. It was just no use telling Harry that Snape would never return his affections. Besides – ew! It was Snape! But there was no telling Harry that, either. Any – any! - word against his beloved Severus was met immediately with either a steely glare or a trembling lip. So on he tripped toward the dungeons, awkwardly dragging the charmed stereo with him.
Arriving at Snape's quarters, Harry looked at Ron, took a deep breath, and knocked. Loudly. And persistently. Minutes later, the door creaked open. Severus Snape stood there, looking down his nose at Harry and Ron.
“Given that I am not expecting company, nor am I desirous of any, you two may consider yourselves dismissed,” he said snidely and made to shut the door. But Harry, set as he was on his holiday surprise, shoved his foot inside, and grabbing Ron, he slid past Snape into the Potions professor's personal quarters before the older man could do so much as smirk.
“I'll have you in detention for the rest of your miserable years here at Hogwarts if you do not leave my personal rooms immediately,” Snape hissed.
“No,” Harry said bravely. “There's something I've been meaning to say, and I'm not leaving until I've said it.”
“I just brought the stereo, and … erm … I'll just – be going now,” Ron said, and throwing the stereo on the desk, he fled, robes flapping behind him.
“This had better be good, Potter,” Snape sneered, turning his attentions back to the boy in front of him.
Harry cleared his throat. “I was hoping to get you something for Christmas this year, something that would express my – feelings for you,” he stated.
“Feelings?” Snape said, lip curling.
“Yes. Feelings. You know, those fuzzy things that make your stomach turn in circles,” Harry prodded.
“I'm familiar with the term, Potter. Pray tell, what feelings might you have for me? Scorn? Derision? Pity?” Snape spat.
“No, sir. It's just – I think I'm in love with you, and I couldn't find you a gift that would say that, so – I came up with something else a bit more … personal,” Harry said, looking Snape square in the eye.
“Go on,” Snape said, intrigued.
Harry pressed the button on the stereo. A blare of Latin-tinged brass and tambourines filled the air. Turning around, Harry quickly pulled off his robes, revealing his costume. He was dressed in tight jeans, no shirt, and had strapped a big piece of mistletoe to his chest. Spinning around to face Snape, he began singing to the music.
“Seeeevvv, it's that time for year to sing Feliz Navidad. Underneath the tree there should be some presents there from Santa Claus. Oh, Sev, I'm begging you, don't be mad at me. I forgot it's Christmas, and you're oh so hard to try to please ...”
Snape stared, jaw on the floor, entranced by Harry Potter in his room, gyrating to Ricky Martin. Harry thrust his hips toward Snape's chair, shaking his bon-bons in his professor's face before whipping his head around, wearing what he hoped was an alluring stare.
“Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't know what to do! Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't have a gift for you. I can give you ay, ay, ay!” With each “Ay” Harry smacked his bum with a loud crack. Snape stared as handprints magically appeared on the seat of his jeans. Subconsciously he shifted, recrossing his legs.
“Snaaaaaape, pretend my arms are like shiny, big, red bows, wrapped around your kisses underneath the magic mistletoe ...”
At those words, Harry spun around, licking his fingers and then rubbing his nipples, drawing his attention to the mistletoe on his chest. “Come on, Severus, you know the words. Why don't you sing?” Harry challenged, frotting against the desk on which the stereo sat. Snape merely cocked an eyebrow at him. But Harry continued on undaunted.
“Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't know what to dooooo!”
The boy was horribly off-key and he was humping a piece of priceless antique furniture, but yet Snape couldn't take his eyes off the sight in front of him. This was not what he had expected when he opened the door this evening.
“Ay, ay, ay, it's Christmas and I don't have a gift for you ...”
“Potter ...”
“I can give you ay, ay, ay!”
“Potter ...”
“All you need is ay, ay, ay!”
“Potter …”
“Un poquito ay, ay, ay!”
“Oh, just shut up already,” Snape growled, and grabbing Harry by the arm, he spun him around into an intense, lustful kiss.
As they sank to the floor, Harry grinned evilly. He couldn't wait to torment Ron with the details. Snape was just glad that someone had the presence of mind to turn off the stereo.
FIN
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-12-19 11:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-19 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-20 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-20 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-20 04:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 12:39 pm (UTC)Poor Ron thew things he does for Harry.
And and Snape! Kissing Harry just to shut him up Merry Christmas too all. LOL
no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 02:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-24 03:25 am (UTC)