Fic: To Be Young Again [Pt 1]

[mini_fest_mod]

Title: To Be Young Again
Author: ???
Rating: low R
Characters: Sirius/Severus, past-Remus/Sirius, pre-Harry/Draco, Hermione, Ron, Luna, and some other people
Prompt(s): This picture
Warnings: Not really...
Summary: Sirius Black is spending Christmas alone this year, he did not expect a guest and certainly not five children. What more, he didn't expect to be thrown in to the chase of finding Horcruxes...
Word Count: About 15,000 (Sorry, I do not know the meaning of 'mini')
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling and those to whom she has licensed her creations, including without limitation Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. I make no money from this and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: This is my first de-ageing fic. Thanks to my beta, A.


Sirius reheated his tea for the fifth time with a wordless spell. He had not drunk a drop of it. He sat in the basement kitchen of Grimmauld Place. It was his favourite room of the house, not only because neither of his snobby parents ever been down there, but also because it was not as grand as the rest of the house. It had been his favourite place as a child as well.

He contemplated the thought of another lonely Christmas. It was already the sixteenth of December and there was not a shred of evidence in the house telling of the coming holiday. What was the use? Sirius reminisced about the big Christmas celebration he had spent in this room two years ago. Even last year’s more modest gathering was happy in his memory, but by that time Remus was already dead.

He played with the steam coming of the tea, making it curl, circle and shape into obscure figures. The wand he was using was his uncle’s, his father’s brother’s, for he had found it in the attic of Grimmauld Place while clearing out some old junk. It worked better for him than the spare that Dumbledore had given to him, since this wand was blood related. He still kept the spare though; it felt wrong to get rid of it. Dumbledore was also dead; throwing away the spare wand now would feel like treason, so he kept it in a drawer by his bed.

His existence now was not different from that of his twelve years in Azkaban. There were some improvements of course. No Dementors for a start. He was clean, well fed and had access to books and magic for entertainment. He could argue with Kreacher and his mother’s portrait to his heart’s content and not only get imaginary replies, even though the real ones made him more aggravated. And he could get a cup of tea when ever he wanted. Even if his life’s thirty-seventh Christmas was to be lonely one, it didn’t highlight in licking of melted snow from the gloomy prison stonewalls. But still, the loneliness was tarring and the fact that he could do nothing to help with the fight outside made him unrestful.

Sirius was also worried about Harry. On the thirty-first of July he had sent an owl to the Burrows, congratulating Harry on his seventeenth birthday and wishing Bill Weasley luck with his marriage. The owl had come back with terrifying news. The Ministry had fallen, taken over by Death Eaters, and Harry had fled.

He had been shocked when Harry, Ron and Hermione had showed up on his doorstep later that day, but they had all been so full of secrets that he never found out what was going on. They had been looking for someone called R.A.B and a locket. Sirius had immediately identified the letters as his dead brother Regulus. The locket had been hidden by Kreature, then stolen by Mundungus Fleacher and then given to Dolores Umbridge. After all of this had been cleared up the three teens were gone again, leaving Sirius very confused and worried.

The next week the Prophet reported a sighting of Harry in the Ministry, linking him to an attack on Umbridge in which she accidently had been given a Dementor’s Kiss. But now, months later, there was still no sign of Harry or his two friends. There was even talk that they were dead. His only connection to the outside world was the Daily Prophet that Kreacher sporadically remembered to buy and an old wireless that mostly just emitted static.

Sirius had not felt so much terror, guilt and sorrow since Remus had fallen into the Veil at the Department of Mysteries. The foolish man had pushed Sirius aside, been hit by Bellatrix spell and fallen. Sirius had held so tightly to Harry then, letting the boy scream, feeling his own heart breaking as he watched his one and only lover die.

He had been asked to close down all floos, communications and not to leave the house so that the Order’s headquarter was kept safe. Not that the house was used as headquarters anymore, therein lied part of Sirius’s current loneliness. Since Dumbledore’s death the security of the house had been breached. Sirius had already been put on alert if Snape was to return to the house. Not that it was any high alert, at this point Sirius would even stand for the company of the greasy murderous git.

He stirred his wand through the steam from the cup, which was once again cooling down, letting the light smoke climb up the wand like a gentle vine. His mind wondered, yet again, to Remus scared face and gentle touch, and his heart ached.

Suddenly the wards chimed. Sirius, who had tuned the whole house to his own senses, startled and knocked over the teacup. The liquid flowed over the table, dripping down on the floor. Sirius looked around, concentrating on the breach in the wards. The front door, six people. It was impossible to tell if they where friend or foe. He grabbed his wand tighter.
“Blood traitors! Vermin! Defiling my house!” his mother’s portrait had been awoken, her shrill voice mad him wince. “Get out you…!” she was suddenly quiet.

Sirius tilted his head. Had the intruders managed to silence her so quickly? He edged closer to the stairs, listening intently to the sounds coming from the hallway upstairs. It sounded like children. Their voices were upset and frightened. They seemed to be arguing.

“I don wanna!” piped one of them. “It is icky!”

“You have to,” said a no-nonsense small girl voice. “It will be in-fec-ton if you don’t!”

“I don’t want uncle to have imfrecton!” cried a third child desperately.

“There, there, child. My no good son will help him.”

Sirius stopped halfway up the stairs. Had that been his mother’s voice? Had it been kind and comforting? He had not heard that tone of voice from her since his brother Regulus had broken his wrist at the age of twelve.

There was a sound of small feet on the carpet and a small blond girl, maybe five years old, stood at the top of the stairs looking down at him. She had the biggest blue eyes Sirius ever had seen on a child.

“Are you the lady’s no good son?” she asked, her big eyes unblinking. “Can you please help us?”

“S-sure…” Sirius stammered.

He carefully climbed the rest of the steps, still holding his wand at the ready. He lowered it somewhat in confusion as he came up to the landing. Just inside the door lay a dark cloaked grown man, his face covered in a Death Eater mask. Three small children, one girl and two boys, were holding down on the man’s stomach. Their small hands were coved in blood. There was another child lying on the floor beside them, seemingly unconscious. There was no mistaking that the unconscious child was Harry Potter.

“Gampa!” screamed one of the children, a beautiful little boy with a myriad of blond curls.

Sirius was woken from his stupor and looked at the child. He had seen that boy before… He blinked, remembering a photograph of the Malfoy family that he had cleaned away a couple of weeks ago. The small blond boy was Draco Malfoy! But how could that be? His mother had been dead for over ten years, so the picture had to be that age as well. And this boy must be five or six.

“Gampa!” called the child Malfoy again; there were tears in his eyes now. “Uncle is hurt!”

“Right,” Sirius pushed all the questions away for later.

He hurried over to the fallen Death Eater. There was a rip in his dark clothing and a deep bleeding wound could be seen through it. There was a wand in the man’s right hand, Sirius took it immediately and threw it in the corner. He hesitated for a moment if he really should help a Death Eater, but then again the children were obviously concerned about the man. He put a strong stasis charm on the wound, the bleeding stopped. Sirius was no expert in healing but the charm would hold for at least ten minutes. He called Kreacher.

“Take him to my parents’ bed, carefully” he said as the house-elf appeared. “Then get the healing kit from my room, and bring some towels and a big jug of water.”

The elf bowed and placed his ancient hands on the Death Eater. The next moment they were gone with a popping sound.

“What happened?” asked the other girl, she was bucktoothed with a mane of brown hair.

“Tha was wicked!” laughed the last boy, his hair strikingly red and his face full of freckles. “Like ‘POFF’! Wait til I tell Fved and Orge, tha I sa a real house elf!”

Sirius looked at the four children. They were ruffled, pale, dirty, scared and more than ten years too young, but they were Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Luna Lovegood. He turned to Harry again; the raven haired child was still out cold.

“What’s the matter with him?” he asked hurrying over and lifting Harry up in his arms, the child was very thin.

“Sleeping pwotion,” said the child Draco, taking hold of Sirius trouser leg with his bloodstained little fist. “Uncle said so.”

“Oh,” Sirius looked at the sleeping face, the boy seemed all right.

“Mister,” there was a tug on his other leg, it was Ron. “I nee to pee.”

“Me too,” whispered Draco and the girls nodded in unison.

“Right,” breathed Sirius, taking this turn of events in a stride. “Right. There is a bathroom there,” he nodded to a door next to the kitchen stairs. I’ll take Harry upstairs, and you can join when you are finished…”

“I don wanna go wi girls!” cried Ron with a disgusted face.

“Daddy says I’m not allowed to go by myself cause I always fall in,” said Luna, Sirius was sure the girl had not blinked once since she arrived.

“Right,” Sirius felt dizzy. “What about you boys go here and the girls come with me upstairs? You can follow when you are done.”

“Fine,” nodded Ron.

He and Draco hurried inside the bathroom. Sirius took a breath and walked over to the stairs leading to the second floor, he could hear the boys argue about who was going to go first.

“You go in there,” he said as they reached the landing, indicating another bathroom door. “Hermione can hold your hand so you don’t fall in.”

“Okay!” said the girls in unison and left.

Sirius took a breath and sped his steps to his parents’ room, leaving the door open so the children knew where he was. The Death Eater was on the bed, he was rummaging through the healing kit, looking at the bottles. The mask was gone. As the Death Eater turned his face to him, Sirius met the dark eyes of Severus Snape.

“You!” Sirius called, and would have cursed the man to hell if he wasn’t carrying Harry.

“Yes, Black,” huffed Snape. “Me!” He continued to look through the healing kit. “I can make a decent recovery with these. But it will make me sleep in a high fever for at least a day. You better ask your questions now.”

“You, you…!” Sirius could still not form words, he was angry beyond belief.

“If you are going to kill me,” sneered Snape. “Put Potter down first. I didn’t get my guts sliced open just so you could drop him on his feeble head.”

Sirius’s words were still failing him, but he reluctantly saw Snape’s point. He placed Harry carefully on the bed, as far away from Snape as possible.

“Talk,” he said, aiming his wand at the slightly oversized nose of the man before him.

“For me to explain as fast as possible, you need to accept certain facts,” Snape slowly began to remove his shirt, but Sirius was impatient and vanished it for him.

“What are there facts?” Sirius frowned at the deep cup that was now fully visible against the pale skin of Snape’s hip, it didn’t look good. “I’ll help you clean it,” he sighed. “Just go on talking.”

Snape gave a grunt and a slight nod. Sirius moved to the other side of the bed and began dabbing the wound with a wet towel. At that moment the children came into the room. Without a word they all climbed up on the bed, curiously looking on.

“You all wright, uncle?” asked Draco patting Snape on the head. “Gampa is helping you.”

“I’m not your grandpa!” barked Sirius. “I’m only thirty-seven!”

All the children looked really impressed.

“That is wreally old!” said Draco in an amazed voice.

“Why are you laughing, Snivellus?” Sirius glared at his patient. “You are just as old as I am.”

“I don’t have any complex about it,” Snape held up a small bottle from the kit. “Drip this on the places where the bleeding is worst.”

“Fine,” Sirius took the bottle. “Tell me the facts you mentioned.”

“Yes,” Snape sighed. “First, Dumbledore asked me to kill him.” Sirius huffed, but did not interfere. “Second, he was already dying when I killed him. He was cursed, and from the sight of him probably poisoned as well. All I did was shorten his suffering. And third, I have been loyal to Dumbledore for the last sixteen years, and I’m still doing his bidding.”

“Was a dumb boar?” asked Luna. “Is it like a buckle beast? Daddy says they are really dumb.”

“I’m hungry!” said Ron.

“The Dark Lord…” Snape carried on with a glare at the children “… has obtained a potion that is said to be to origin for the legend of the Fountain of Youth. He was of course first enraged when he found out that it would not work on his re-generated body. When he calmed down, he saw another potential for it. He decided to make Potter a child and raise him as his own.”

Sirius nodded, watching the wound close slightly as he disturbed the brown liquid over it. He was not sure what to make of what Snape had said about Dumbledore, but at least he could believe in the potion. The result of it had to be the five children in front of him. Draco and Hermione had snuggled in with Harry and looked half asleep. Ron and Luna listened to Snape as he was telling an exciting bedtime story.

“Potter, Granger and Weasley were caught by Snatchers and taken to Malfoy Manor. Lovegood was already a prisoner there. The potion must be taken voluntarily for it to work, but Potter refused all food or drink. After two days the Dark Lord ordered Draco to eat with them, tasting everything before they ate. That convinced them that nothing was poisoned.”

“And Draco agreed to that?” Sirius glanced at the boy who was now sleeping nuzzled close to Harry.

“He didn’t know,” Snape huffed as he turned to his back. “He just thought that he helped them not to starve to death. He is a kind boy at heart.”

Sirius blinked. That had almost sounded loving. He watched as Snape mixed some of the potions from the kit together. The slender fingers moved fast and experienced, there was no way for Sirius to know what was being mixed even if he knew the ingredients.

“I’m hungry,” repeated Ron looking forlorn between Sirius and Snape.

“Kreacher,” called Sirius and the house elf popped into existence. “Make yourself useful and make some sandwiches.”

“Kreacher is useful to useless master, yes. Is mudblood on Mistress’s bed, was should Mistress say? Dirty childs need eating bad master’s food...” He was gone again.

“He is funny,” giggled Luna. “Can I pet him?”

“Better not if you want to keep all your fingers,” Sirius shook his head and turned back to Snape. “How did you escape?”

“Draco was given back to Narcissa,” Snape glanced at the sleeping child. “She was not happy. She felt that a child of five was in more danger than a seventeen-year-old, especially with Greyback in the house. I had been given a sample of the potion so that I could research an antidote, but that would take time.”

“Do you still have it?” asked Sirius. “The potion?”

“In my cloak pocket,” Snape made a gesture to the cloak on the floor. “I don’t even know if it is possible to make an antidote, though…” he sighed. “Anyway, Potter was given a sleep potion so that he wouldn’t make a fuss while he was delivered to the Dark Lord. The rest of them… the rest of them were to be given to Greyback. I couldn’t allow that.”

Sirius met Snape’s eyes at these words. He could see that the man was telling the truth and how determined Snape actually was in protecting the children. There was suddenly a feeling of respect filling Sirius, and he nodded his consent.

“I asked Narcissa and Lucius if I could take Draco to my home, for his safekeeping and for my research on the antidote. Both of them immediately agreed and keyed me in to the new anti-apparating wards of the manor. I returned to the dungeons to administer the potion to Potter. I then did a spell that would create an optical illusion to hide the other three in the folds of my cloak. We were just about to leave when Greyback and his friends arrived. He smelled the children under the spell and sounded the alarm. I was able to apparate away at the last moment, but, as you see, I was hit and then I spliched myself.”

“I thought the wound looked a little strange,” nodded Sirius. “But why did you bring them here? You must know that I’m cut out from the outside world here. I can’t contact their parents.”

“That is what makes it so safe,” Snape winced in pain. “I have to drink this now. As I said, it will put me to sleep and give me a high fever. I don’t trust you to take care of me, but I know you are not as stupid to endanger the children.”

Sirius glared at him. Snape glared back and swallowed down the potion. His eyes began to flutter immediately and his head fell back to the pillows. Sirius thought of leaving, but felt guilty again as he noticed Luna trying to pull a blanket over the now sleeping man. He sighed, spelled the sheets clean and helped her.

Soon after that Kreacher returned with a big plate of sandwiches, a pot of tea, a can of milk, a bowl of sugar and seven cups. Sirius, Luna and Ron sat down on the floor to eat and drink. He tried to ask them about what had happened but didn’t get more out of them than from Snape. Their memories from over the age of five seemed to be gone.

It seemed that Snape had told them that he was taking care of them until their parents were back from their holidays. They had trusted Snape since they noticed how much Draco liked him, and since Draco was so cute you had to like what he liked. Sirius smiled at this childish logic. Ron was very excited over not being forced to be together with his siblings. Luna seemed used to be left with sitters and chatted on about strange creatures that Sirius never heard about before. She fell asleep in his lap after about fifteen minutes. Ron managed to eat seven sandwiches before he also was sleeping.

Sirius felt like sleeping himself. Even if it only had been less than two hours since the surprising arrival he was confused and tired. Carefully he lifted up Luna from his lap and carried her to the bed. He noticed that Snape had begun to get feverish. Sirius returned for Ron. When he put the boy down on the bed he was met with the sight of two terrified green eyes starring at him. Harry was awake.

“Hello,” Sirius said hesitantly.

“Hi,” whispered the boy almost inaudible, his hair was more ruffled than ever.

Sirius didn’t know what to do. Harry had not heard Snape’s ‘your parents are on holiday’-lie and must be wondering what was going on. His mind raced and then came to a stop, not being able to come up with something good. Harry tilted his head and squinted. He didn’t have any glasses on and could probably not see Sirius clearly.

“Err… Do you need to go to the bathroom?” Sirius rolled his eyes over the stupid line, but was surprised as Harry actually nodded and gave a shy smile. “Right…”

Sirius held out his hand. Harry hesitated for a moment before he took it. There was a wave of panic over the child’s face as Sirius lifted him up. The small body almost went rigid. It was as if he was not used to be carried at all. Sirius remembered what Harry had told him about the Dursleys and their cold treatment of him. Also, he guessed, Harry probably noticed that Sirius looked scary as he came into focus. He had long hair and unshaved since almost a two weeks. And then there was that trace of Azkaban still haunting him in his eyes.

“It’s all right,” said Sirius in a soft voice. “My name is Sirius. I’m a friend of your dad. Your real dad.”

“My real dad?” Harry sounded doubtful. “Where’s Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon? And Dudley?”

“You never have to see them again,” smiled Sirius, now walking towards the bathroom. “Never ever. You are going to stay with me.”

He wondered if he had said too much. This was still a very confused child. He has said these words to Harry before a couple of years ago, before he had to go to hiding again. But now, it was a new situation. Telling a fourteen-year-old was different from telling a five-year-old. Harry’s small face was frowned up in thought. Hesitantly Sirius put him down on the floor next to the toilet.

“Never ever?” asked the boy. “And I can live here with you?”

“Yes…” Sirius looked around at the ancient bathroom. “Maybe not always here,” he frowned. “I’ve been thinking of getting another house when I can… well… but I’ll be sure to get you a room there too.”

“I can have a room?” gasped Harry. “A room of my own?”

“Sure,” Sirius smiled.

“Gampa!” a shrill voice called and Draco crashed painfully into Sirius’s leg at high speed. “Gampa! Uncle is sick!”

“Damn it,” Sirius rubbed his knee. “I’m not grandpa.”

“Uncle is wreally, wreally, sick!” Draco jumped up and down.

“I’ll take care of it,” huffed Sirius. “You all right there, Harry?”

“Yes,” Harry was squinting at Draco who had just noticed him.

Sirius walked back to the bedroom. Ron and Luna were still asleep but Hermione was sitting up, slowly patting Snape over the head. She looked worriedly at Sirius.

“Is Mr. Snape going to be fine?” she asked. “He said that he knows were mommy and daddy are, and if he is sick how can I find them?”

“Don’t worry,” Sirius patted her burr of hair. “He will be fine. You go and have some sandwiches and tea. It’s on the floor over there.”

“Mommy says you must always eat by the table,” she frowned. “Except for picnics.”

“Well, think of it like an inside picnic then.”

“I always wanted one of those!” she laughed and climbed off the bed.

Sirius looked down at Snape; the guy looked in really bad shape. He lifted the blanket to look at the wound. The skin was blue and green and there was some puss as well. Sirius felt nauseous. He cast a cleaning spell over the wound. Then he wetted a towel and placed it on Snape’s forehead, as an afterthought he also put a cooling spell on it. Snape seemed to breathe easier after that.

“Gampa, the tea is cold!” Draco and Harry had now joined Hermione at the indoor picnic.

“There you go,” Sirius cast a heating spell and sat down on the floor with them. “And call me Sirius. I’m not your grandpa. I’m your mother’s cousin.”

“Bwoodtweaitor!” called Draco in chock.

“That’s the one,” sighed Sirius, pouring himself a cup.

“How’d you do that?” Hermione held up her cup.

“What?” Sirius blinked and understood, she was Muggleborn and so was Harry too, basically anyway. “Oh, it’s magic. I’m a wizard. Just like you and Harry, and Draco. And those three over there,” he nodded at the bed.

“I’m not a wizard!” gasped Hermione.

“Well, no, not really. Since you are a girl, so you are technically a witch.”

“Me too?” whispered Harry.

“Yes, you are a wizard,” nodded Sirius. “But neither of you are not allowed to do real magic until you are older.

“How you don’t know?” asked Draco, taking a sandwich from the plate and critically inspecting the filling.

“They are raised by Muggles,” Sirius narrowed his eyes as Draco was to open his mouth. “And if you call them Mudbloods I will spank you.”

Draco looked scarred and concentrated on his food.

“What is…?” Hermione began.

“It is a very bad word,” said Sirius, still looking at Draco. “Just as blood traitor is a very bad word. I never want to hear anyone of you use it.”

“Sowwy,” Draco looked like he was going to cry.

“Oh, Merlin,” sighed Sirius and pulled Draco up on his lap. “It’s all right. I know your parents say it all the time. But that doesn’t mean you have to. Okay?”

“Okay,” nodded the boy, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

“Well, then. If you are finished eating,” Sirius looked out of the window, the sky was dark. “It’s time to go to bed. Why don’t you all have a sleepover in Harry’s room?”

“My room?” gasped Harry.

“Yes,” Sirius made Draco stand up and then got up to his own feet. “I’ll get Ron and Luna and we’ll go over there.”

Draco followed him to the bed and kissed Snape on the cheek. Sirius blinked again.

“Aw you sleeping with uncle?” asked Draco.

“What?” Sirius dropped Ron on the bed , the boy just continued snoring.

“Mommy always sleeps in my bed when I’m sick.”

“Oh, well… I guess I can…” Sirius frowned.

The thought of sharing a bed with Snape made his stomach curl. He looked at the feverish man. If he woke in the night with high fever, he might undo his wound. That would mean a longer convalescence and more work for Sirius. He debated with himself as he carried Luna and Ron to the next bedroom, the one he had put away for Harry.

“I can’t see it,” said Harry, sounding a little disappointed.

He was holding on to Draco’s hand, letting the boy lead him.

“We will get you some new glasses tomorrow,” said Sirius, laying Luna’s head to the head board, and Ron’s head to the foot board. “This is the boys’ side and this is the girls’ side. Okay?”

“Okay,” nodded the children.

“I don’t have a pyjama!” said Draco sounding a bit distressed again.

“You can sleep in your clothes tonight. We’ll get you pyjamas tomorrow.”

“Mister Sirius?” Hermione gave a hesitant whisper and sat up, her hands clutching worriedly.

“Yes?”

“Are we staying for Christmas?”

She looked even more worried, Draco and Harry was also looking at him now, their interest awoken.

“I don’t know yet…” Sirius bit his lower lip. “Why do you ask?”

“Mister Snape said that… that no one can find this house…” Hermione swallowed. “What about Santa?”

Sirius blinked.

“Whose Santa?” asked Draco frowning.

“Don’t worry,” Sirius felt his chest tighten at the sight of the girl’s imploring eyes. “I have given him a special map.”

“Good,” she breathed.

After several hugs, a short story about a lost fairy and even a kiss from Draco, Sirius returned to his parents’ bedroom. Still debating with himself over what to do, he inspected the wound on Snape’s hip once again. It was still blue and green and really swollen. He re-chilled the wet towel on Snape’s forehead. Sirius yawned.

“Fuck it,” he said and lay down on the bed, his back firmly turned against Snape.

He was asleep within minutes.

---------------
Sirius woke up face to face with Snape.

“Get off me!” he called before noticing that it was actually him that was holding on to the other man.

If Snape hadn’t still been out cold from his fever it would have been a very awkward situation. As it were, Sirius adjusted his hair and decided that it had never happened. It was just a natural reaction from being alone for so long and having a warm body close by. He checked Snape’s wound, finding it to be a jagged-looking, but healthy, red scar surrounded by purple bruising. The man’s fever seemed to have gone down as well.

He got up from the bed, scratching his head. He looked down on the black cloak on the floor. Remembering what Snape had said about the potion, Sirius reached down and looked though the pockets. He found the small glass phial quickly. The liquid inside looked clear, but shimmered in the colours of the rainbow when he held it up to the light of the window.

It was tempting. The thought of maybe erasing the last fifteen years from his mind. To forget all about Azkaban and start over again as a younger man, as the man he once had been. He sighed and put the phial on the nightstand. He would never do it. Just the thought of finding things out all over again was enough for him to refuse. The death of James and Lily. The death of Remus. Peter’s betrayal. The responsibility he had over Harry. The twenty-year-old Sirius would not be able to handle any of this. The twenty-year-old Sirius would run away, break apart, or both.

The thought of Harry made Sirius sober from his thoughts even more. He walked to the next room, only to find it empty. The bed was messy. He felt a small tinge of panic, but decided to look in the kitchen first before he let it erupt. Draco had been in this house as a small child and probably knew his way downstairs for breakfast. The boy would not be shy about ordering Kreacher around as well.

Sirius descended the stairs and was immediately calmed by the childish voices coming from the kitchen, he had been right. His was surprised though, when he entered the kitchen to find that the boy actually had charmed the old and grumpy house elf into doing waffles.

“Goo mowrni!” called Ron with his mouth full; he had been the first to notice Sirius.

“Good morning,” said Sirius sitting down at the table, being served a plate of steaming waffles and a cup of tea by a strangely subdued Kreacher.

The light of morning brought the reality of the situation more clearly. This was really happening. He looked over the children as they ate and laughed. Draco was the centre of attention. Harry was carefully slicing his waffle in small pieces eating it slowly, as if he tried to make it last for as long as possible. Sirius leaned forward and pushed his own waffle onto Harry’s plate.

“No need to worry,” he said to the boy and ruffled his soft, black hair. “You can have as many as you like.”

“Thank you,” blushed Harry, seemingly not daring to meet Sirius’s eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

“My head hurts,” whispered the boy as if he feared punishment for complaining.

Sirius gasped. He had totally forgotten about Harry’s connection to Voldemort. This child had no idea how to protect himself mentally. What would happen if Voldemort decided to attack Harry through their connection? What was he supposed to do?

He has risen so fast from his seat that the chair clattered to the floor. The children stared, terrified. Without any explanation he had grabbed hold of Harry and was running up both the stairs to Snape, two steps at the time.

“Wake up!” Sirius used his foot to shake Snape, his arms full of the scared Harry. “Wake up you fuck!”

“What?!” Snape sat up, his eyes were unfocused and his hands grasping for a wand that was not there. “Black?”

“Wake up!” Sirius placed Harry in the man’s lap. “I think his scar is hurting!”

Snape blinked. His glossy eyes moving between Harry and Sirius.

“Where is my wand?” he asked in a hoarse voice.

“Here take mine,” Sirius handed the wand over without thinking.

Snape looked slightly drunk, but took the wand none the less. Harry looked absolutely terrified and was silently crying. Snape patted the boy the head, and then he moved his thumb over the lightning scar a couple of times. He swayed a little and Sirius reached out to steady him before even thinking that he was touching the other man’s bare back.

“He is fine,” murmured Snape. “It seems that his spontaneous un-controlled child magic is blocking the Dark Lord out.”

“But the head ache…?”

“He has gone too long without glasses. His head hurts from concentring on seeing.”

“Thank Merlin,” sighed Sirius, leaning his chin on Snape’s shoulder.

“Black, I would appreciate you kept your cuddly dog tendencies away from me,” growled Snape and shook him off. “Here is your wand back.”

“Sorry,” Sirius rose to his feet immediately and took is wand. “I… erm…”

“Was going on?” a small voice asked from the door.

Sirius turned to see Hermione standing in the doorway, the other three children behind her looking nervous. Draco’s face was blotch, runny with tears and snot. Sirius gave a sigh; he must have given them all quite a scare.

“Nothing,” he lifted Harry from Snape’s lap. “I thought Harry was sick. I was just very worried. But there is nothing wrong with him at all. Let’s all go down and finish breakfast.”

The children relaxed. Harry actually put his thin arms around Sirius’s neck. Draco took Sirius hand and wiped his nose on the backside of it. Sirius frowned in disgust but let it pass, the small boy must really have been scared.

When they had descended the first stair, Sirius put Harry down and asked Draco to lead Harry to the kitchen. He spelled his hand clean and watched the boys take the first steps to kitchen before leaving for the library. He needed to find a book on bodily spells. It was impossible to correct vision without magical surgery, and good glasses had to be specially ordered from an expert. There were temporary corrective spells though, that would hold for a day. They were mostly used by wizards who only needed to correct their sight for reading.

He soon found the right book and, after a detour to collect Snape’s wand, he returned to the kitchen. Snape was there, still looking a bit dizzy and haggard. He was still without a shirt, but had taken his coat over his shoulders. His pale hands were hugging a big glass of something that looked like green mud.

“You shouldn’t be up,” said Sirius, placing the book on the table and leafing through it to find the right page.

“You woke me,” grunted Snape and sipped his drink with a disgusted look on his face. “And your potion ingredient storage is abysmal.”

“I wasn’t expecting a Potions Master walking though the door now was I?” Sirius placed the wand on the table before him.

“So you trust me?” Snape took the wand.

“No, but what choice do I got?”

Snape just continued sipping his drink. The children were starring wide eyed at them both.

“So what is your plan?” Sirius found the spell and walked over to Harry.

“You trust me to have a plan, do you?” sneered Snape.

“You always have a plan, you sneaky bastard. Harry, look at me. Denique Visum.”

Harry blinked rapidly a couple of times and then looked around. His gaze stopped at Draco, who smiled and waved.

“He can see me now?” asked Draco curiously.

“Yes,” Sirius stroked Harry’s hair gently backwards. “But we have to do the magic every morning until we can get him new glasses.”

“Wow!” gasped Ron suddenly, spitting crumbs over the table. “Lookit!”

Ron was pointing at Harry’s forehead and the lightning scar there. Draco and Luna also gasped. Hermione just looked confused and angry because she didn’t understand what was going on. Next moment there was a crash and a scream.

“I saw him fiwst! Mine! My bestest fwend!”

Sirius stared at Draco hugging Harry close trying to pull him away from the other kids.

“What…?”

“How Potter defeated the Dark Lord as a baby is Draco’s favourite story,” sighed Snape, looking like he had failed somewhere with the boy. “Perhaps it’s because it is his father’s least favourite.” He then raised his voice, “Draco, you can be Potter’s best friend but you have to share him with others.”

“Why?” Draco hugged the bewildered Harry closer.

“Because,” said Hermione in a childish know-it-all voice. “How can you be his best friend if you are his only friend? You have to have many friends to have a best friend.”

Draco thought about this for a moment.

“Fine,” he let go of Harry. “But just me get to be the best!”

The argument settled, the children retuned to their breakfast. Sirius felt a little uneasy over how possessive Draco just had been. But the smile on Harry’s face was priceless. The boy had probably never had a friend, let alone a best one. Sirius decided to leave his worry for later. There were more pressing matters for the moment.

“Your plan?” Sirius sat down.

“I will research an antidote. But first I need to read one of their minds to find out if their memories are gone or just blocked. I’ll take Weasley; he is the least guarded of them.”

“Wha abou me?” asked Ron who had now finished his breakfast, his freckled face exited.

“I want too!” screamed Draco.

“Haven’t you got any old toys or something?” Snape looked at Sirius. “To keep them occupied?”

“Oh! Right. Kreature!”

“Master is calling poor Kreature,” the house elf looked out from the airing cupboard where he had built his nest.

“Get mine and Regulus’s old toy chest from the attic for the children,” said Sirius. “Put it in the lounge upstairs.”

Kreature popped away. The children were suddenly excited and were all looking expectantly on Sirius.

“Go ahead,” he said gesturing to the stairs. “Draco, you know where the lounge is?”

“Yes!” the boy called. “I know!”

The child was out of his chair in no time and hurrying from the kitchen. The other children scrambled to follow. Snape reached out and took hold of Ron, who gave a little squeal.

“Don’t run on the stairs!” called Sirius. “You go on too, Ron. I need to talk to Snape alone before you help him.”

“Okay,” Ron smiled and followed the others upstairs.

Sirius turned to Snape, fixing him with his gaze. They were now alone in the kitchen. Snape, looking almost unaware of his own actions, pulled his cloak tighter around his bare upper body. Sirius noticed something and pulled Snape’s left arm forward. The Dark Mark on the forearm was irritating the pale skin with bruises and small scabs. It looked like it was very painful.

“He is looking for me,” Snape said solemnly.

“That was one of the things I wanted to ask you about,” Sirius couldn’t help but to touch the infected skin, it felt warm. “I know they can’t get to the house since they are not in on the secret location, but Voldemort must sense where you are none the less.”

“Yes,” nodded Snape pulling the marred arm back inside the coat. “There is probably somebody outside right now, waiting to kill me if I ever step outside.”

“Which is to say, that it’s only for you to stick your greasy head out through the door and the house would be crawling with Death Eaters…”

“Do you still distrust me?” Snape asked with a smirk. “I did think you were acting a little bit too gullible before.”

“I didn’t want to worry the children,” huffed Sirius. “I believe that you told the truth of your escape. You got your wand back, didn’t you? I’m still not convinced about what happened between you and Dumbledore, but for now I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Dumbledore always said that he trusted you wholeheartedly. I’m not sure, mind you, that I can trust you, but I will listen to what you say, for Harry’s sake.”

“Very well,” Snape gave a curt nod. “I will do my best to trust you as well, Black, mostly because I realise that you are the only adult person one I can rely on at this moment.”

“Now,” Sirius took a breath. “I don’t know much, but I believe that Harry and his friends are on some kind of mission. They came by here in the beginning of August. They said it was a secret, but it had something to do with my brother and Voldemort. They were looking for a locket and they found out that it was with Umbridge. They left, and the next day there had been an attack on the Ministery, where Umbridge had been injured.”

“Yes…” Snape tapped the table with his fingernails. “Dumbledore said that he had a task for Potter, but wouldn’t tell me. But it must have something to do with the Dark Lord. I know he hurt his hand destroying a very evil Dark Object, it weekend him considerably. I took care of the injury, but it was eating at him. It seemed to me that the whole limb had been cursed dead…”

“I noticed his hand the last time ha came here,” nodded Sirius. “He said it had been a spell gone wrong.”

“I...” Snape leaned forward as he was afraid to be overheard. “The Dark Lord told me to put the Sword of Gryffindor in the LeStrange’s vault. I switched the sword with a copy and arranged so that the real one would to be found by Potter. He destroyed a locket with it. There were Evil things coming out of that locket…” he took a breath and leaned even closer, Sirius also got closer. “I think something very bad is going on, but I need to look inside Weasley’s mind before I can make any deduction.”

“Why him?”

“I don’t want to disturb Potter’s spontaneous occlumancy. Draco is already partly trained in closing his mind, and the girls are too clever as adults – I don’t want to find resistance if I brake though any restrains. Weasley has grown up with five older brothers, a pushy little sister and with Molly, he is used to bend to other people’s will.”

“Poor boy,” Sirius stood. “By the way, where is the sword of Gryffindor now?”

“It is still in Malfoy Manor. They think it’s a fake, but Bellatrix was very upset for a while. She believed that Potter had been to her vault and stolen something else from her. I’m sure Weasley knows more than me about this.”

“I’ll go and get him.”

As he walked to the lounge Sirius pondered over Snape again. It was not as hard to trust the man as he had thought. He knew that Snape was an excellent actor and possessed a far above average intelligence. It had been this intelligence that had made Sirius so willing to target Snape in their youth. Back then, nearly twenty years ago, Sirius had felt a pride over being able to outsmart the smart boy, to fool him, to humiliate him. He knew that James had felt the same. Remus, who had probably matched Snape’s intelligence, had been quiet and laid back. Peter just wanted to have friends. He sighed.

“Siweeus!” called Draco clapping his hands together as Sirius entered the lounge. “We want to make Chwistmas dec-cwai-tons! Mione said we has to!”

The children were sitting on the floor in a pile of old toys that Sirius recognized from his own childhood. Luna was hugging a stuffed blue dragon that huffed feeble puffs of smoke as she squeezed it, he remembered Regulus calling it ‘Smokey’. Harry and Ron were playing with the colour-changing building blocks. Hermione had found a book that playfully tried to nibble her fingers, she was giggling madly.

“Maybe after lunch,” Sirius was pleased that the boy had stopped calling him ‘gampa’. “Ron, can you come with me please?”

“Were we goin’?” asked the freckled boy. “Can Harry come?”

“Just you this time,” he held out his hand. “We just want to ask you some questions. You are not in any trouble.”

“You wan to ask me?” Ron’s blue eyes glittered and got up to his feet, knocking down a tower of bricks. “No one eva wans to ask me!”

“Me too!” screamed Draco, obviously jealous for not being asked to join.

“You stay here and take good care of the others,” Sirius smiled gently and lifted up Ron to his hip. “It looks like Harry needs help to rebuild his tower.”

Draco hurriedly agreed and took charge of the building blocks. Harry looked stunned.

Sirius returned to the kitchen. Snape had transfigured a shirt for himself, probably from one of the kitchen towels. Somehow the fact that Snape now was fully clothed made Sirius feel somewhat relieved, and that made him worried. Snape indicated the table and Sirius put Ron down on the edge of it. The boy looked curious.

“Now, Ronald,” Snape seated himself so that he was face to face with the boy. “I’m going to look inside your mind. It will scary, but it is not dangerous at all. And you are a brave boy, aren’t you?”

“Yeah…” Ron sounded hesitant.

“Try to pretend that you are going to sleep, but with your eyes open. Look at me… Good boy… Look at me… Legimens.”

Ron shivered a little but continued looking at Snape. Their foreheads were nearly touching. Sirius watched in silence. He had seen this kind of Magic be preformed before, but that had been on adults. The sight of Snape’s intense dark eyes on the child almost seemed a little perverse. But still, to have that strong undivided attention aimed at you. Knowing that you were the only thing there, and that nothing else mattered in the world. Sirius hastily turned his head away. For a split second he had wanted to pull that gaze on himself and…

“They are still there,” said Snape, disconnecting his mind bond with Ron, who started blinking like a madman. “All his other memories. But they are heavily blocked off. They will grow into him as he ages, but it will be very confusing, maybe even maddening, to re-live two childhoods at the same time.”

“What shall we do?” Sirius patted Ron gently over the head, the boy smiled feebly.

“He seems to age faster than normal children. I would venture a guess about a month per week, but that will still take him little over two years to reach his natural age.”

“Can you make an antidote to speed it up?” Sirius asked.

“It is possible, but I have not yet examined the potion…” Snape’s forehead wrinkled in thought.

“What is a Horcrux?” asked Ron suddenly, his voice had lost the childish tone from before.

“Where did you hear that word?” Snape gasped.

“I don’t know,” the boy shrugged. “Can I go play now, please?”

“Yes…” Snape lifted the boy down to the floor. “Go back to the others.”

“That was no scary at all,” declared the boy and walked to the stairs.

“He seems older” said Sirius tilting his head.

“I had to break apart one of the barriers on his mind,” sighed Snape, rubbing his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he turned to Snape. “What was that word?”

“Horcrux,” Snape sounded half terrified, half admiring. “We are in deeper trouble than we thought…”

Sirius had gone back to sleeping in his own bed that night. But his thoughts were continuously hovering around Remus and the warmth he was missing. It was strange that even if he had slept alone for two years, it only took one night of another person’s warmth to bring back his loss of bed mate ten fold.

..................

[Part 2]